Ending power struggles with spouses, children and within other important relationships requires an acknowledgement of what you can own on your part, a recognition of the other as a child of God, and an understanding of the need we all have of one another.

“Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire,
which parted and came to rest on each one of them.
And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit
and began to speak in different tongues,
as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim.”

“As a body is one though it has many parts,
and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body,
so also Christ.”

“Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,
‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’”

Just as Christ chose to “need” us to complete His mission on earth, we “need” one another in our individual lives as well as within the Body of Christ.

Power struggles within relationships are often counter to this mission; they are divisive. From a psychological perspective, power struggles are often about “winning” an argument or trying to control or change another person. They do not “give life” or “restore” the other as we are called to do.

Jesus calls us to be in harmony in the Body of Christ. In order to do this, one person in the power struggle must be self-possessed, calm and recollected to de-escalate the situation. Remember, you can only control your portion of the conflict.

Nearly all, if not all, conflict has two sides. Own the part of the conflict that is yours. Apologize if it’s warranted and you are in a place to say you’re sorry.

Remember to see the other person as God does: as a beloved child made in His image and likeness. Use that image to help cultivate respect of the other, even in conflict.

Parents often demand respect from their children. Instead, work to create an environment for respect to flourish. This could start with praying together or doing positive activities to foster a change within the family system.

Recognize that we all have an interdependancy within the family and within the body of God. 

After a power struggle or before one occurs, think about and even write down the part of the conflict you can own, how you can recognize that, and if an apology is appropriate. Recognize the other person is a beloved child of God. Consider the important role that person plays in your life, not only in what they are or do for you, but what they encourage you to work on in yourself.